i wish noah had swatted the two mosquitoes from his ark
(Source: sadden, via itsbetterthananal)
sleepovers when i’m 10: omg guys we’re going to sTAY UP ALL NIGHT AND PARTY!!!!
sleepovers when i’m 15: if you fucking make a sound after midnight you’re leaving
i’ve been meaning to go on a diet for about 5 years
(Source: trait, via death-by-lulz)
when you’re babysitting and the kid won’t eat their veggies
(Source: surprisebitch, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)